In a city filled with social dating — making yourself press the cute little red X in the top right corner of the application felt like killing off a loved one. But thankfully, we did it & here are the results.
As of writing this, my current age is 24 and from what I hear, “I’m fairly young”, and to the expense of my friends, I’ve been on a number of horrendous, boring, and quite frankly terrible dates. This past week I deleted every social dating app that has ever planted itself in my “unused” folder. Goodbye Grindr, Jack’d, and more importantly Tinder. I noted key elements when I would scroll aimlessly on my phone. It was like the muscles in my body instinctively knew to find the app that would waste my time the most.
So from Monday till now (which is Monday), I wrote down notes as to how this whole experiment went:
The first day was pretty easy. Feeling confident in my decision in deleting all the apps from my phone. I had a couple of conversations going that I slightly regretted just ditching because in hindsight, I hate it when it happens to me but for the sake of this diet, I needed to quit cold turkey. I found other motives to keep me distracted. I filled up my time with checking out other things like Instagram more and Twitter. Overall, nailed it.
Another day went by well, I kept busy through the Tuesday with writing, meetings, and other Bob Cut stuff. No thoughts of checking the apps came to mind and at some points, I nearly forgot that even deleted them in the first place. Again, nailed it.
This day I found a bit more challenging. A lot of my daily tasks were taken off my plate so I found myself at home in a more relaxed state. If my hand wasn’t wandering through Facebook, it was flipping to the spot where Tinder once was. Somewhat muscle memory of all things. And I found myself continually tricking myself into thinking that the app(s) were still on my phone. Without question, I would accidentally flip. All in all, panic had indeed set in.
Thursday was definitely the worst day of the diet. So much so that a fellow I had been talking to on Tinder privately messaged me on Instagram to see if I was doing alright? My worst fear of this diet realized. I told him, “I gave up social dating for a post I’m conducting” to which he responds, “ok, let me know when you’re back on Tinder haha” hoping I would respond with a “no, sorry — it’s permanent.”
Surprisingly, a little anxious from the fact that I’m not connected to a slew of men waiting for me to swipe left or right. I was having a conversation with a good friend of mine and he and I were discussing online dating. His feelings were that he felt that he was being “window shopped” instead of being treated like a decent human being. It made me stop and think. I had for the longest time swiped blindly but to only a “hot or not” first impression scale. But they (the other users) were doing it to me.
I woke up feeling a little better about my situation. I got invited by Danielle to go out to the local gay club Badlands. I turned it down because 1.) Gay men in large quantities freak me out and 2.) I felt a very learned disconnect. When you enter any gay establishment, you immediately peel your eyes to those who are bent over their phones avidly swiping and messaging aimlessly, I was one of those people and so relearning a whole new meaning of having fun does sound scary.
As we come to the last day of the experiment, I’ve come to learn a couple of things about my dating habits. 1.) I need constant follow through when it comes to interacting with a potential
And to be honest, I don’t think I will be downloading all of my apps again. Treat people how you would like to be treated and that goes for social dating.
// Have any thoughts about this letter? You should definitely leave them in the comments below; let’s get a discussion started. Or silently leave us Twitter remarks.